LISTEN UP PEOPLE

“Lookey here people, things are different now – I get that, but hey…change is not always a bad thing. What is a bad thing is my people – the Professor and that writer he hangs around with, are out of control. And they won’t go away! I mean like, they are here day in and day out. Can a girl catch up break? How am I to instigate shenanigans with them always under foot? And the bellowing? Geez, if I hear one more time – STOP BARKING (directed at Ella because she is the mouthpiece of the organization) I think I will lose my mind. Now, understand…I am a good girl – I eat all my meals, I sit pretty for cookies, I am kind to everyone, I try to maintain a smile on my face at all times. Ok, I don’t come when I am called and alright…so I like to get a little dirty. You see, it’s a game out down in my Shangri-La between me and Merle (the squirrel of ill-repute). I figured out that if I disguise my pelt with a little camo he will most certainly trip up at some point and then it’s GAME OVER. So until then, I have to be cagey.

While I do not think today’s upside-down world is such a bad thing, I would like a little relief from the continuous monotony. And, about that beach a block away? Now deemed private property. Seriously, why is the beach restricted when I could be there chasing the gulls. I guess someone forgot to tell the herons it was closed for beachgoers, because I heard ole’ Hank Heron squawking overhead this morning on his way to the beach. Totally unfair that he gets to hang out there, but I can’t.

Oh well, folks -thanks for listening. Sometimes you just have to get a few things off your chest. Appreciate you checking in!”

— Signed Pearl Bailey, the dog not the Jazz Singer