A FATHER’S TRIBUTE

Today marks 38 years since my father left this earth. I was a young woman when I sat with him and his eyes closed for the last time. Sister Golden Hair, was still in her teens. There were many, many promises made as we sat together on that fateful day. Me, the prodigal middle child, made solemn vows to care and provide for the lives he was leaving behind. I believe in my heart that I have fulfilled every one of those pledges. Henceforth, I’ve ‘given my word and crossed my heart’ on many promises in this life, but none that I accomplished with a more earnest steadfast determination.

His death was the first profound experience that occurred in my life. Given my youth, I really did not understand how to process the vast void left by his departure. And, so I wrote. I wrote so many things that year, and discarded many as they did not seem at all worthy. This is the plight of a writer; the emotion that influences the written word lies deep inside of us and is driven by the impact upon which our experiences have had on our heart.

Today in my reminiscing, I came across one of the passages I wrote during that time. I was struck by the innocence of the words. It is clear I was raw and almost juvenile, not only in my prose but in the emotion that drove it. I have expanded and matured greatly in the 38 years that followed, as has my writing, but it was gratifying to slip back through the years and hear my young woman’s voice ringing so poignantly. I hope you enjoy this passage and that it carries you to a place of sweet sensation.

Gone by Sixty Two

I have your forehead I have your toes
Your sense of direction and everyone knows
I know where I’m going whenever I start
These are a few things which you had a part.
I have your personality, although not as wise
My life is a good one, I’m sure you’re not surprised.
I live by the Bay, that beautiful sea.
The love of the water is what you taught to me.

I miss you so much, I can’t put into words
Little Sis says you visit in the form of a bird.
It seems so absurd to think of you that way.
Still, I look to the sky each and every day.
I watch for a Cardinal so I’ll know you’re there,
And, magically, it seems you are everywhere!

We have a new little one, Luc is his name
I’m sure that you knew this and sent him our way.
Daddy, I know that you’re watching from heaven above
For when I rest my head at night, I still feel your love.
It’s clear you still guide me, and so I believe
I’m still your little girl with her heart on her sleeve.